Amazing What a Week Can Do

This time last week, my mindset was, "Oh Lord, what have I gotten myself into? Can I do this and survive?" I seriously had fear before each early morning workout...wondering how I could ever make it through it and make the long walk back. Today, somehow, my thoughts were more like, "How can I work harder during this workout...how can I leave it all on the field?

The human body is an amazing thing. Already, my body is adjusting and adapting and actually wanting to work harder and harder. It is rather miraculous.

This morning was legs day and we all gave it all we had before breakfast. Immediately after breakfast we had a pool workout...I had to exit the pool because I had cramps in both legs so bad I could hardly climb out of the pool. This happened because I had already burned my legs out and didn't have anything left. It felt great to work hard and, with the help of my trainers, I got the cramps to calm down. At some point I remember telling one of the trainers how frustrating it was to have to stop with cramps. She really reframed it for me..."Susan, this is nothing...this is just cramps...you don't have to be frustrated..."

Today's group session with the therapist was really good. We talked about learning to have mastery over our emotions...so that our emotions don't rule us...and end up giving us messages to eat when we really are not physically hungry. There are several steps to gaining mastery. I will probably elaborate on those more later.What stood out to me most today was that fear is one of the main things that bogs us down...and that when we really stop and take a look at what we are afraid of...most of the stuff we find is actually not even real. This really hit me. Another thing that hit me was the discussion that most of the time when we say we are feeling "stressed" we are really feeling "fear" of something. So, the next time I am feeling stressed, I am going to stop and ask myself, "Susan, what are you afraid of?" I am going to let God's truth speak to me about fear. He says a lot about that, you know. Stuff like "perfect love casts out fear" and "be anxious for nothing" and lots of other real stuff. Basically it goes like this...untruths or unknowns or false assumptions cause fears, fears cause stress, stress causes discomfort, no one likes to be uncomfortable, food offers a quick short-term relief or distraction...over eating occurs. I like this scenario better= life happens, fear pops up, I ask God to shed light upon what I am afraid of, He sends it fleeing or gives me courage to face the real thing that is scary, I let go of the fear and stress and relax in the understanding AND EXPERIENCE of HIM HOLDING me...I let Him feed me with what I really need...I don't go to food for something food cannot really satisfy. Oh how I long to put this understanding into action...please help me Lord...I know He will and already does. :)

The people here are great. Everyone has their own stories but we are all alike in so many ways. It is truly a gift to be here...to really allow myself to be...to be...right here...right now...and to learn to be aware of all that God has to show me. I know I am only picking up small pieces of all He is showering upon me...but the stuff I see so far is amazing...He is so good, isn't He? :)